DOWSING FOR LIGHT

I used to be a skeptic. People would say “You can find anything on the Internet!” and I’d give an half-hearted “yep” but I didn’t believe it 100%. Until today. On a whim, I Googled the following:

Vendetta “deadly like a rose”

Sometime around 1981 I won a radio contest. The prize was ten free albums. Not bad, huh? That’s what I thought. But then I got to the station and saw the inventory I could pick from. Basically, it was all the promo records that the station didn’t play. I learned an important lesson that day. Really, I only half learned it; if I had actually learned it well I’d never have bought the Cacophony album by Marty Friedman (the chump who wouldn’t sign the Megadeth album he didn’t specifically play on) a few years later. The lesson: don’t judge an album by its cover.

But that’s not the point of this post. The point is that one of the records I picked was by a band called Vendetta. Never heard of them before that day, never heard of them after. Until, of course, I Googled them today and found this.

To their credit, the chorus still pops into my head on occasion, out of nowhere.

“If you refuse to accept the ugly truths in life and, instead, fabricate your own, you will be doomed to misery. But if you stop rejecting the truths that don’t fit your needs or that hurt too much to believe, if you embrace them, learn from them, and put those lessons to work in your life, you will be happy.”

- Anonymous

Would you argue with your friend if he painted his 1969 Mustang Boss using the extra cans of “Cotton Candy Pink” spray paint he found in the garage because he’s tired of the Bondo gray and just wants it painted already? Of course not. You might tell him he’s crazy, tell him he’s making a mistake, or even make predictions of the taunts and teasing he is sure to endure. But you wouldn’t get angry with him: it’s his car and he’ll deal with the end result, not you. You might have to ride in it, but that’s your choice, so ultimately it shouldn’t matter one bit what he does with that car. And you never know what positive results might ensue; unlikely, yes, but possible.

Focus on what matters. Not what could be, not what you think should be, but what is. It only turns to apathy when you stop caring about the truths in life.

You can look to others for the things you want in yourself and, when you find them, call it Love. You can find someone who mirrors what you think you are and do the same. You might build up these illusions of perfection and seek them out, settling for whomever creates the best mirage. You can find someone just as lost and ignorant as you so you’ll have company as you stumble into disappointment. You can lie to yourself and thus lie to others, let them do the same to you, until you’ve created a monster that looks nothing like the Love you were after. Or you can know yourself before even trying to know someone else and love yourself before giving it, and you’ll have a much easier time of it. (more…)

I don’t have the brain for blogging, which is why you’ll not see a daily entry here. I’ll be lucky to post once a week. There are many reasons for this. So many people do it better, including my fiancee’, who can take one thought from her day and turn it into an entertaining, though-provoking entry. I also rarely keep track of any interesting thoughts I have during the course of a day. Also, even when I do have an idea, I can become quickly bored with the prospect of sharing it as most ideas or themes has been explored, explained, and exploited by myself and many before me. It’s like sitting in a coffee shop and eavesdropping on a group of people ten years younger, having that same deep conversation on (insert topic here) we’ve all had (or will have) repeatedly over the span of our lives. The need for novelty also effects my writing. (more…)

I’m on the latest medication to quit smoking (again). Like any med that works on your brain, there are bound to be side effects, and apparently this one includes mood swings. Granted, I haven’t been throwing the television out the window one minute and playing peek-a-boo with a ladybug the next, but I have noticed some changes. On one day in particular, I noticed that the way I felt emotionally seemed more like a reaction to the way I felt physically, which was similar to a bowl of room temperature oatmeal. (more…)

I’m sitting here at my desk for what could very well be the first Friday of the first weekend for which I have no plans but to write. I’m trying to get all of my procrastination in tonight because I plan on catching up on some writing over the next two days. Intolerable Cruelty has already run its course on the television in the corner of the room and now Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is on. Which, of course, started me thinking (something I try to avoid unless it’s been properly scheduled). And yes, I realize the subject line of this post references The Matrix. There is a reason for this. (more…)